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Life is never easy when we are overly attached or dependent on an outcome.

Over 2500 years ago, the Buddha taught that ‘attachment is the root of suffering’.

In our modern world, we are still causing ourselves a great deal of hurt, guilt, sadness, grudges, and suffering.

But there is good news. Many of these difficulties can be solved by learning the incredible power of letting go.

There are many ways that we can learn the power of letting go in our lives. Whether we are letting go of a person, letting go of a past event, or maybe even letting go of an idealized image of ourselves; there are incredible rewards or peace and freedom that await us.

In this article, I want to do a deep dive into the process of letting go and focus specifically on the incredible work of David Hawkins, who pioneered this concept. 

What is the Meaning of Letting Go?

‘Letting go’ means to detach from false or unhelpful beliefs and to surrender to reality.

While this idea and definition of letting go seems simple, that does not mean it is easy.

Past events, a difficult relationship, and stress in our work or personal life can all cause us to feel like we are unable to let go.

Letting go is both a mindset and a practice. It takes time, attention, and discipline to learn the process of letting go. And the more you learn to use it, the more freedom, fulfillment, and inner peace you will experience.

The Mechanism of Letting Go

In his 2012 book Letting Go, Dr David R. Hawkins describes how we can overcome negative feelings and negative thoughts simply by ‘letting go’ of our attachments.

According to Dr Hawkins:

“Letting go involves being aware of a feeling, letting it come up, staying with it, and letting it run its course without wanting to make it different or do anything about it.”

For most of us, this practice is incredibly difficult because we have been taught to avoid or try to change something we don’t like. If there is a strong emotion inside us, very often it will lead us to want to do something. This desire to act is actually a form of resistance and is the cause of our ongoing suffering.

As Dr. Hawkins explains: “It is the resistance that keeps the feeling going.”

Before we can begin to practice the mechanism of letting go, we must be aware of the ways we sabotage ourselves. Very often this sabotage is caused by avoidance or a desire to escape from an emotion.

Three Ways We Avoid Letting Go

As simple as this letting go technique might sound, it is not easy to practice in everyday life. Most of us spend the majority of our lives in a state of unconscious attachment to people, activities, ideals, and even an identity that causes us suffering.

According to Dr Hawkins, there are three common mental mechanisms that we humans use to create and perpetuate our negative feelings and thoughts. The three mechanisms are:

1) Suppression and Repression

When we repress a feeling, it is often because there is so much guilt or fear associated with it that we cannot cope with feeling it at all. Denial or avoidance of emotions, and even reactions such as sarcasm, apathy, and projecting are common ways we suppress and repress negative emotions.

2) Expression

Many people believe that when they express a negative thought or feeling they are then free of it. As Dr Hawkins explains, very often the expression of feelings such as anger, resentment, blaming, or grudges gives them more energy. This is particularly true if we don’t take responsibility for our part in causing the negative feelings.

3) Escape

Many people who are having a hard time in life will tend to find ways to avoid their feelings through diversion. David Hawkins explains that very often escapism and avoidance are socially acceptance mechanisms. We respect people who can bury themselves in work, and even modern activities such as texting, entertainment, online dating, shopping, or partying can often become forms of acceptable escape.

Before we can understand the Mechanism of Letting Go, we must first look at how we might be using these other mechanisms of detachment, suppression, expression, or escape. Sometimes this can take honesty and surrender.

What is the Letting Go Technique by David Hawkins?

The book Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender is an incredible source of insight and inspiration for millions of people around the world.

The book Letting Go has been a constant companion for me on my spiritual growth journey since I first discovered it.

In essence, the letting go technique comes down to experiencing emotions, but not reacting or acting on them.

As Dr. Hawkins explains: “The technique is to be with the feeling and surrender all efforts to modify it in any way.”

Amazingly, when you just stay with a feeling, acknowledge it, and accept it, you begin the process of letting go. Any feeling that is not resisted soon disappears as the energy behind it dissolves.

Try this letting go technique the next time you feel angry, sad, frustrated, depressed, or any other feeling you want to avoid. Sit with the feeling, let it wash over you like a wave, and notice how it dissipates sooner by accepting it.

This practice is the essence of the letting go technique.

What is the Pathway of Surrender?

Until you truly experience the feeling of surrender, it can be hard to define it in logical terms.

Dr. Hawkins explains the pathway of surrender in this way: “To be surrendered means to have no strong emotion about a thing. ‘It’s ok if it happens, and it’s okay if it doesn’t.’”

Often the process of surrendering is not a one-and-done activity. We feel like we have surrendered and learned to let go of a person, a situation, or something we felt strongly about. And then, it unexpectedly returns.

When the return of the emotion happens, we might feel like we have ‘failed’ to surrender.

However, the deeper truth is that there can be a great deal of negative energy, emotion, and experiences deep inside us that need time to completely let go of.

Forgiveness, for example, is a difficult emotion to surrender to. We can think and feel that we have forgiven a person one day, and then a week (or month, or year) later we feel resentment or the same grudges still inside us.

Once again, we feel this resentment, we must acknowledge it, and accept that there is more of it that needs to be surrendered.

How Letting Go Reduces Stress

Have you ever wondered why two people in the exact same situation can have completely opposite responses? One person can be angry, fearful, depressed, or anxious while another person is happy, relaxed, and enjoying the journey.

The answer is because one person is holding on to the situation, and allowing it to affect their internal state. The other person has learned to use the mechanism of letting go.

In Letting Go, Dr. Hawkins teaches us that the real source of stress is internal.

When we experience stress what we are actually feeling is the release of repressed internal emotions.

All of us have had a lifetime of experiences – some negative, some positive – that we store inside of us. The more we identify with a situation, the more we attach our internal emotions to it. When we start to see that our mind is being clouded by negative feelings, we can start to neutralize them.

Stress is not an essential part of life, it is a choice we make from moment to moment.

The reality of life is that no matter how we feel, life goes on. But we get so addicted to our ideals and our emotions that they cause us to suffer.

As Thich Nhat Hanh explained, “People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”

Is Letting Go Worth Reading?

If you are considering whether it is worth reading Letting Go by David Hawkins, let me be another one of the many thousands of people who recommend it to you.

Many spiritual growth books can feel like they are a little too broad, or esoteric. They may feel like they are based on non-concrete research, or written by spiritual gurus who don’t have real-world experience.

The difference with Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender is that it is the culmination of Dr. David R. Hawkins’s work as both a medical doctor and psychiatrist. His research was based both on empirical and personal experience and is the work of a person committed to spiritual growth. 

There are incredible insights and practical examples of how to implement the letting go technique in relationships, careers, self-reflection, and many other life areas.

Grasping the concept of letting go is not something you can do in a day, a week, a month, or maybe even a year.

But if you are a person who is seeking deeper meaning alongside your personal growth, then the book Letting Go is a worthwhile journey to take.

– Daniel Midson-Short

Image: Your Stronger Heart by Duane Toops.